Like many people with many vowels in their last name I was raised Catholic. I was an altar server, my dad was a choir director in a number of parishes here in Beaver County. But, for me it just didn't take. It seems to be that way with many couples. Many of us have a different spiritual outlook than those generations that have come before. We may still feel an attachment to- or, for various reasons, have a desire to honor- those traditions.And that's what Kelly & Nevin's ceremony was. Traditional, yet personal, and wow, was it fun!
These two gave me a ton of info to work with on their questionnaires. So much so, that I actually had a harder time figuring out what not to use than what to use.
Their ceremony featured one of my favorite unity ceremonies- the Love Letter and Wine Box.
Also, check out their Declaration of Intent! This is a great way to add a little surprise humor into the ceremony.
The Wedding of Kelly Miller & Nevin Edwards
March 29th, 2014
Convocation
All stand.
Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church, and Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people.
The union of two people in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.
Into this holy union Kelly and Nevin now come to be joined.
Presentation Of The Kelly
Who presents this woman to be married to this man?
Father (or parents) of the Kelly: “I do” or “her mother and I do.” Or something similar.
Honoring Those Not Present
At this time, we would also like to honor those who could not be with us today.
Though we cannot see you, we know you are here.
Though we cannot touch you, we feel the warmth of your smile as Kelly and Nevin begin a new chapter in their lives.
We pause now to reflect upon those who have shaped our character, molded our spirits and touched our hearts.
The Liturgy Of The Word
The Lord be with you.
People: And also with you.
Let us pray.
O gracious and ever-living God, you have created us male and female in your image: Look mercifully upon this man and this woman who come to you seeking your blessing, and assist them with your grace, that with true fidelity and steadfast love they may honor and keep the promises and vows they make; through Jesus Christ our Savior, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever.
Amen.
Reading
excerpt from “The Art of a Good Marriage”, by Wilferd Arlan Peterson
Reader: Brandon Miller Kelly’s brother, Brandon
"A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the "little" things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say, ”I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is having a mutual sense of values, and common objectives.
It is standing together and facing the world.
It is forming a circle that gathers in the whole family.
It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is not only marrying the right person -- it is being the right partner."
Scripture
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (love is patient and kind)
Reader: Christine Zacherl
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Minister’s Address (Homily)
When I first met with Kelly and Nevin we got into a discussion of how often people get Nevin’s name wrong. In fact, when she first met Nevin, Kelly had even thought that she had heard it wrong or that it was a nick-name. Instead, she remembered Nevin as “that guy who broke the Sliz”. (Some of you will get that reference, others won’t. Talk about it at the reception.)
But it was amazing to me the variations Nevin gets: Devin, Kevin, Malkin… Spevin.
I promised Kelly and Nevin that I would be sure to get it right during the ceremony.
And so, Nelly and Kevin, that is exactly what I intend to do.
Standing in the hallway today, I heard a little girl ask “daddy, why do people get married?” I didn’t hear the dad’s answer, but I did hear the slap that he got from his wife. I decided not to stick around after that.
But, it was a pretty good question: “Why do people get married?”
Neville and Kreskin, why are you getting married?
We all have different answers: Love, of course; companionship, sure; a nice little break come tax season, perhaps, but as I looked around here I realized that it’s the gifts! People give you things when you get married!
That’s actually one of the things Paul talks about. In some versions of the Bible, the word “love” in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians is translated as “charity”. Love in the context of marriage is exactly this- a selfless, voluntary gift.
The best gift we can give other people is our whole selves in truth. By doing so we give them a true and accurate mirror that allows them to see themselves. We also give ourselves the best opportunity to grow. As Danny Kaye once said, “Before we can give ourselves to the world, we must first accept ourselves.” Or as my dad used to say “A man who can give himself a hug every day truly has the arms of an orangutan”
Nermal, you make Kelly laugh with your odd- ball sense of humor. You make her feel loved and appreciated, safe and secure, like she’s the most important person in your world, (or at least the most important person not covered in fur.) And though Kelly may never fully understand your strange bond with Jax or your deep-seated involvement with the cult known as Penn-Trafford, your compassionate, caring nature extends to everyone- your friends, your family and most of all, to her. You are her friend, her protector, her other half, her love. You are so much more to her than she could ever put into words and she simply cannot fathom going through life without you by her side.
Kurly, it’s no wonder that you’ve found in Nevin a caring, understanding man. You are seeing there a reflection of yourself.
Those little things you do brighten Nevin’s every moment- the Post-it notes with words of affection and encouragement, the way your smile lights up a room- you even pack his lunch for work. They say “don’t marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can’t live without.” Nevin near-certifiably insane when you have to travel. He doesn’t know what to do with myself when you are gone, and it is those times when he really understands how he much he loves you and misses you. There is not one other person in the world that he would rather be with than you.
And I know that no one told you life was gonna be this way,
Before you met, Your job was a joke, you were broke, your love life was D.O.A.
It's like you were always stuck in second gear
Always feeling like it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but
now, Kelly, you know that Nevin will be there for you. And Nevin, you know that Kelly will be there for you, too.
These are the real wedding gifts that you present to each other today.
So, share the gifts of your friendship, humor, vulnerability, sensitivity, and kindness.
Be sure to find ways each day to protect, affirm, and support each other,
and to treasure the balance and shared values that you have found with each other.
But here’s the the thing, Kelvin (which really ought to be the name of your first child), you have given us a gift, too. By letting us join in this day of joy with you you share with us the gifts of your love, of hope, of all the things that make life grander.
All of us here, your family and friends, would love to be able to give you the gift of happiness. But, it is not ours to give. You, and only you, create this marriage.
So, travel the country, the world together, but never stray far from each other in your hearts.
Go out on those hot wing nights, and fill each other’s plates with loving-kindness, compassion and hope.
Take in a Pirates game, and always remember that win or lose, ultimately you are on the same team.
May you enter into your marriage believing that the love you share and your faith in each other will endure all things. And may you always, always be in love.
Is there anything in particular that you would like me to say to your future spouse during the ceremony, or anything that you would like in the ceremony that I haven't covered here?
Kelly: “Although it already feels like we’re married, I’m excited to make it official and continue our lives together. I can’t picture myself with anyone else but you and I cannot wait to be “Mrs. Edwards”
Nevin: “Let's Go Pitt!”
Declaration of Intent
Kelly and Nevin, today I ask you to make these promises before all of us:
Will you always trust in each other, as the people you are today and the people you will become?
We will
Will you always laugh together, joke together, and keep a playful nature?
We will
Will you always show affection and remind each other of the love you share?
We will
Nevin, will you promise to always give Kelly your full attention, no matter how long her stories are or even if you've already heard them 9 times?
I will
Kelly, will you console Nevin in times of need, such as suffering thru the many heartbreaking losses Pitt will undoubtedly have in your lifetimes?
I will
Will you always strive to love each other the way you do today no matter what life brings your way?
We will
THE MARRIAGE
Blessing Of The Rings
Do we have the Rings?
Lord, please bless these rings that Kelly and Nevin are about to exchange. May these rings forever remind them of their covenant with one another, as well as the circle of love they have publicly created here today. May their compassion and kindness for one another always be like these rings, with no beginning and no end.
Nevin places the ring on Kelly’s ring-finger and says:
I, Nevin, take you, Kelly, to be my wife,
in equal love, as a partner and companion,
to have and to hold,
to honor and to cherish,
in joy and in sorrow,
from this day forward.
Kelly places the ring on Nevin’s ring-finger and says:
I, Kelly, take you, Nevin, to be my husband, in equal love, as a partner and companion, to have and to hold, to honor and to cherish, in joy and in sorrow, from this day forward.
Unity Ceremony
Unity Candle
May the lighting of this candle of unity represent the oneness of this union and the eternal flame of love that burns within these two hearts.
(Music begins)
(Kelly and Nevin light center candle)
Love Letters and Wine Box
Kelly and Nevin have chosen as a couple to perform a Love Letter & Wine Box ceremony.
This box, handmade by Nevin’s Pap, Randy, contains a bottle of wine and a love letter from each to the other. The letters describe the good qualities they find in one another, the reasons they fell in love, and their reasons for choosing to marry. The letters are sealed in individual envelopes and they have not seen what the other has written. You have created your very own "romantic" time capsule to be opened on your 5th wedding anniversary.
I recommend that you keep the box in a place of honor prominently displayed in your home as a constant reminder of your commitment to each other.
Kelly and Nevin should you ever find your marriage enduring insurmountable hardships, you are to as a couple, open this box, sit and drink the wine together, then separate and read the letters you wrote to one another when you were united as a couple in marriage. By reading these love letters you will reflect upon the reasons you fell in love and chose to marry each other here today.
The hope is, however, that you will never have a reason to open this box. And if this is the case, you are to open this box to share and enjoy on your 5th year wedding anniversary!
Kelly and Nevin, do you promise to respect and honor the commitments you have made here today and achieve the life through kindness, compassion, and an ever-adoring heart? Do you also promise to resist the temptation to sneak a look at each others letters, not open this bottle because it has been a hard week at work and you forgot to stop at the State Store, or use this box as a step-stool so you can reach the glasses on the top shelf?
Kelly and Nevin, you may now seal the box.
It is my sincere hope that the tender sentiments and words of commitment you have written to one another will always serve you as a gift beyond measure. May they always remind you of the love you share,today, tomorrow and in the decades of married life to come.
The Prayers
All stand.
The Lord’s Prayer
Let us pray together in the words our Savior taught us, the Lord’s Prayer:
People and Celebrant:
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
THE BLESSING OF THE MARRIAGE
The people remain standing.
O God, you have so consecrated the covenant of marriage that in it is represented the spiritual unity between Christ and his Church: Send therefore your blessing upon these your servants, that they may so love, honor, and cherish each other in faithfulness and patience, in wisdom and true godliness, that their home may be a haven of blessing and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.
God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favor look upon you, and fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace; that you may faithfully live together in this life, and in the age to come have life everlasting. Amen.
Presentation Of The Couple
With the blessings of the family and friends present, under the authority vested in me by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, and in the name of the Holy Spirit, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Please join me now in celebration as we greet for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Nevin and Kelly Edwards!
