Canadians have a stereotype. I like to describe them as "just like Americans, only polite". And it's true! I've yet to meet a Canadian I didn't like. Emily was no exception. She's a very unique woman- quiet, polite, congenial, yet with a slightly rebellious undertone. Obviously, that's why Michael was so attracted to her. Emily and Michael had quite a unique outlook on their wedding ceremony, too. Though neither was religious, they felt drawn to various cultural and spiritual paths. Their wedding ceremony combined elements from Hinduism, Greek mythology, Buddhism, Sandol Stoddard Warburg's amazing poem "I Like You", and some fantastic personal vows. Sound confusing? It wasn't at all! In fact, it was a completely wonderful border-crossing, unifying, world-appreciating, loving moment that blew away everyone in attendance.
The Wedding of Emily Berkes & Michael Bury
September 1st, 2013
Welcoming Words
Welcome friends and family, today we celebrate the joining of two loving hearts into a joyful, compassionate union.
In India, when people meet and part they often say "Namaste," which means I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the place in you of love, of light, of truth, of peace. I honor the place within you where if you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us.
That place knows no boundaries. It crosses land, rivers, great lakes, cultural, geographical, and political borders. It travels in and through us and out into the world, through the electronic devices at our fingertips and the gentle touch of our hands.
These two delightful people here with us today, Emily and Michael, have found that place in each other and today they wish to welcome all of us also into that place. And so, from them to you, I say Namaste.
First Reading
"I Like You" by Sandol Stoddard Warburg
I like you and I know why.
I like you because you are a good person to like.
I like you because when I tell you something special, you know it's special
And you remember it a long, long time.
You say, Remember when you told me something special
And both of us remember
When I think something is important
you think it's important too
We have good ideas
When I say something funny, you laugh
I think I'm funny and you think I'm funny too
Hah-hah!
I like you because you know where I'm ticklish
And you don't tickle me there except just a little tiny bit sometimes
But if you do, then I know where to tickle you too
You know how to be silly
That's why I like you
Boy are you ever silly
I never met anybody sillier than me till I met you
If you go away, then I go away too
or if I stay home, you send me a postcard
You don't just say Well see you around sometime, bye
I like you a lot because of that
If I go away, I send you a postcard too
And I like you because if we go away together
And if we are in Grand Central Station
And if I get lost
Then you are the one that is yelling for me
I like you because if I think I am going to throw up
then you are really sorry
You don't just pretend you are busy looking at the birdies and all that
You say, maybe it was something you ate
You say, the same thing happened to me one time
And the same thing did
If I break my arm, and if you break your arm too
Then it's fun to have a broken arm
I tell you about mine, you tell me about yours
We are both sorry
We write our names and draw pictures
We show everybody and they wish they had a broken arm too
I like you because I don't know why but
Everything that happens is nicer with you
I can't remember when I didn't like you
It must have been lonesome then
Even if it was the 999th of July
Even if it was August
Even if it was way down at the bottom of November
Even if it was no place particular in January
I would go on choosing you
And you would go on choosing me
Over and over again
That's how it would happen every time
I don't know why
I guess I don't know why I really like you
Why do I like you
I guess I just like you
I guess I just like you because I like you
Address
the ancient Greeks believed that the original humans were created much differently than our current form.
They were large, rolly-polly creatures with two heads, four arms and four legs- loud, boisterous, rather obnoxious. Would tumble about the earth like acrobats, bringing mischief and mayhem, and being generally annoying. In fact, they irritated the gods so much that the gods pleaded with Zeus to do something.
Zeus loved his creations and didn’t wish to destroy them. He fired down his mightiest bolts of lightning cleaving the creatures in two and scattered them about the earth. Thus creating the human race and the nations of the world, and leaving us always searching for our other half.
To find our soul mate, to find that person who completes us.
I believe that a soul mate isn’t something that you find, but is something you become.
It’s not enough to look for the person who completes you, but to love the person who loves you completely. And I know this is what you have done.
It’s like that most eloquent and erudite poet Sylvester Stallone said in Rocky:
I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each other's gaps.
And these words from Siddhartha Gautama show how you become that soul mate, the ways you love each other completely and to completion:
Declaration of Intent
The Buddhist Scriptures; The Buddha's Sermon At Rajagaha; Verses 19-22
Do not deceive, do not despise each other anywhere. Do not be angry nor bear secret resentments; for as a mother will risk her life and watches over her child, so boundless be your love to all, so tender, kind and mild.
Cherish good will right and left, early and late, and without hindrance, without stint, be free of hate and envy, while standing and walking and sitting down, whatever you have in mind, the rule of life that is always best is to be loving-kind.
Bride and Groom, hearing these words, do you come in freedom and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?
Emily and Michael: We do
Vows
Repeated, In Unison
Hindu Marriage Poem
Emily and Michael, please look into each other’s eyes and say:
Emily and Michael: You have become mine forever.
Yes, we have become partners.
I have become yours.
Hereafter, I cannot live without you.
Do not live without me.
Let us share the joys.
We are word and meaning, unite.
You are thought and I am sound.
May the nights be honey-sweet for us.
May the mornings be honey-sweet for us.
May the plants be honey-sweet for us.
May the earth be honey-sweet for us.
Personal Vows?
To Michael from Emily:
I am so glad that the OkCupid gods led me to your profile, despite being way out of my preferred 50 km search radius. Lookit that sweet beard, I thought, and upon reading your profile (one of the few that genuinely interested and not repulsed me), I knew you were the one for me. He will be mine, oh yes, he will be mine. It felt like a cruel joke to then look under "Location" and see Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Not my city. Not my province. Not even my country. OH CRUEL FATE.
I am so glad that despite the odds and distance, we developed a relationship that grew and wouldn't be stopped by our lack of money, passport or vacation time. Although it was difficult spending the past almost two years apart, you made it easy by always being there for me the best you could. No one could be as sweet, supportive and loving from afar as you have been. I never have to question your dedication or loyalty to me. You make me laugh every day, something I value greatly. You make me happy when skies are grey.....that special someone who wants to watch the Price is Right, Catfish and the Anna Nicole Smith Lifetime movie with me.
I can't wait to have you back in Canada with me and to never have to say goodbye in another airport or bus station again. I adore and care for you more than I could ever express, and look forward to growing old and gross with you. You're my big frog and I love you very, very much.
To Emily from Michael:
Emily, for me relationships are like colors. Sometimes you mix to colors together and you get something ugly like grey or brown. Other times colors complement each well when mixed together, like when you mix yellow and blue.
These past two years have been a blur for me. It feels like just yesterday I watched you walk through the lobby of the airport. We were both incredibly nervous, but there was such a strong connection between us. It was right then that I knew I loved you for sure.
It's hard for to put into words how much I love you, but please believe me when I say it is a whole lot. I love your big blue eyes. I love your sense of humor. I love how you make smoothies and wraps everyday for meals. I love that you wrap yourself up in the comforter like a caterpillar when you sleep. I love that when you were a kid you drew a picture of your blanket than cried. You are the kindest, funniest, most amazing person I have ever met. I love how you’ve brought a whole rainbow of colors into my life.
For the first time in my life I am making green instead of brown or grey. You are the yellow to my blue and I am ready to spend the rest of my life with you.
Ring Vows
Rings are an ancient symbol, blessed and simple. Round like the sun, round like the eye, and round like arms that embrace. May these rings symbolize that your love, like the sun, illuminates and warms the others heart, like the eye, you must see clearly even amid the adversity of life, and like arms that embrace as grace upon the world. May they also remind you that love given comes back around again and again.
Michael/Emily, please place this ring on Emily’s/Michael’s finger and say:
Emily/Michael I give you this ring;
wear it with love and joy.
I choose you to be my partner,
to have and to hold, from this day forward,
for better or for worse, for richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,
as long as we both shall live.
Conclusion
Emily and Michael, may your home be a place of happiness for all who enter it;
a place for growing and a place for sharing, a place for music and a place for laughter, a place for hope and a place for love.
May those who are nearest to you be constantly enriched by the beauty and the bounty of your love for one another, may your work be a joy of your life that serves the world, and may your days be good and long upon the Earth.
Declaration of Marriage
And so, with these words resonating in our minds, by the power of eternal love and in the presence of these family and friends, I now declare that Michael and Emily are husband and wife.
You may kiss!
