Stacie & Randy- Favorite Ceremonies

Such fun! These two brought a lot of excitement to the ceremony (and afterwards as Randy slung Stacie over his shoulder and sprinted down the aisle- really!).

This has one of my favorite handfasting adaptations-  promises personally written by the couple incorporated with the tying of the hands. 

The Wedding of  Stacie Kobylanski & Randy Long

August 24th, 2013

Welcoming Words

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

-Albert Einstein

Stacie and Randy want to thank you for sharing with them on this special and joyous day. Those of you who have had the pleasure of spending some time with them, have seen for yourselves that they possess a very rare and exceptional love. We are here today to celebrate their love and participate in this most wonderful occasion.  

Presentation of Stacie

Who, with love and support, presents this woman to be married to this man?

Opening Prayer

Eternal God, source of infinite love, bless us with a sense of your indwelling presence as we worship here. Keep us sensitive to the wonder of things which fill our days and give meaning to life. Deepen in us the level of our loving, both for those near and dear to us, and for those who, though strangers, need our concern. Especially do we pray your divine blessing on these two who come here in this high moment of their lives. Hear them as they take their promises to each other, that they shall pledge their vows with deepest sincerity knowing full well the meaning of the words they say. And do grant to us all, we pray, a heightened sense of the joy of life because we share this moment with them. In your loving spirit. Amen.

Officiant’s Address

Omitted here.

Declaration of Intent

Stacie and Randy, today I ask you to make a promise:
That whatever happens, you shall never walk alone;
That your hearts will be shelter to each other and your arms will be your
home;
That you’ll stand side by side and sleep in each other’s arms:
That Randy, you’ll watch over Stacie and keep her from harm;
That Stacie, you’ll be the joy in Randy’s heart and the food for his soul;
May you feel deeply loved  for indeed you are; through your brightest days and your darkest nights.

And so I ask, will you now take each other into your hearts and pledge your love in this moment and forever?

Personal Vows and Handfasting

In Europe, until the mid 1700’s, few unions were sanctified in a church or a synagogue.

Rather they were celebrated by a ceremony in which the couple joined hands over the village anvil, out in the fields or in a grove of trees.

The hands were then bound together with ribbon or rope.

This is where the terms ‘giving one’s hand in marriage’ and ‘tying the knot’ come from and not at all where the phrases “noose” or “bound in chains for all eternity” come from.

Today Stacie and Randy will build on this ancient tradition. They have each written vows that they would like to share with the other.

We begin with the traditional words of the ancient poet, Peter of Cook, who once said:

Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove...

The Handfasting

Stacie, do you promise Randy that you will laugh with him and at yourselves in times of joy, and comfort him and cry with him in times of sorrow?  

Randy, do you promise Stacie to keep your life full of wonder and adventure even if its just sitting on the couch and watching a new movie or climbing the highest mountain that you can't find just to say “I love you”?

Tie

Randy do you  promise to always strive to make all of your dreams come true and lend Stacie strength in her pursuit to do the same?

Stacie, do you promise to forever be Randy’s best friend and love him unconditionally?

Tie

Randy, do you promise to cherish Stacie and her opinion even when you do not agree with it?

Stacie, do you promise that you will try really hard to remember to put the toilet seat lid down and to wash out your cereal bowl...and that any children you have will be raised to prefer pop over soda?

Tie

Stacie, do you promise to always walk beside Randy through your future together; never before him nor behind?

Randy do you promise to always stand by Stacie’s  side for all of eternity and always keep her close... until the zombie apocalypse, at which point all bets are off?

Tie

As your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust.

The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords, but rather by the vows you have made.

For always you hold in your own hands the fate of this union, and perhaps you can teach the zombies to put down the toilet seat lid.

Tie

May these hands be blessed that we see before us this day.

May they always be held by one another.

May they have the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment.

 May they remain tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love.

May these hands continue building a relationship founded in love, rich in caring, and devoted in reaching for perfection.

May Stacie and Randy see each other’s hands as healer, protector, shelter and guide.

Cords are removed

Rings

May I have the rings please?

From the earliest times, the circle has been a symbol of completeness, a symbol of committed love. An unbroken and never ending circle symbolizes a commitment of love that is also never ending. As often as either of you looks at this symbol, I hope that you will be reminded of the commitment to love each other, which you have made today.

Randy/Stacie, take this ring and place it on Stacie’s/Randy’s, finger and repeat after me.

 

Will each of you repeat after me:

Randy: I, Randy / Stacie, give to you Stacie / Randy, this ring, as a symbol of my commitment to love, honor, and respect you.

Stacie: I, Stacie / Randy, give to you Randy / Stacie, this ring, as a symbol of my commitment to love, honor, and respect you.

Let these rings serve not as locks binding you together, but as keys, unlocking the secrets of your hearts for each other to know, and thus bringing you closer together forever.

Final Blessing or Conclusion

Stacie and Randy,  if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, may it be the love that brought you here today, not only the love of each other, but also the love of your families and friends.

It is only love which can make your marriage a glorious union, and by love which your marriage shall endure.

Today your separate lives with your individual memories, desires, and hopes have merged into one. You are now taking into your care and keeping the happiness of the one person in the entire world whom you love above all others. You are adding to your life not only the affection of each other, but also the companionship and blessing of a deep trust as well. You are agreeing to share strength, your weaknesses, triumphs, trials and  responsibilities.

May you be a blessing and comfort to each other, sharers of each other’s dreams, consolers of each other’s sorrows, helpers to each other in all of life's challenges. May you encourage each other in whatever you set out to achieve. May you trust each other, trust life and be unafraid. May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you patience, tolerance, and understanding. And many, many years from now may you be able to look at each other and say “ With you I have lived the life I have always wanted to live. With you I have become the person I have always longed to be.”

Declaration of Marriage

Stacie and Randy, remember the promises you have made to each other today, carry them close in your heart, but most all live them, each and every day.  I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.

Friends and family, may I now introduce Mr. and Mrs. Randy and Stacie Long!

Rachael & Chris- Favorite Ceremonies

Oh, this was a fun one and wonderfully sentimental and quirky!Rachael and Chris both were raised Christian, but found that their beliefs changed as they became adults. Rachael became Wiccan and Chris leaned in that direction as well, though he would probably decribe himself as humanist. Their parents, though loving and supportive, were not completely on board with their respective children's spiritual outlook. It happens. And so, they wanted a unique ceremony that captured their beliefs without distancing their families. It was also July, hot, and outdoors so we wanted something simple and on the shorter side. And so the scene was set. The ceremony was in-the-round, one of my favorite ceremony settings. The chairs are placed in a circle surrounding the couple, bringing more intimacy, more warmth and interaction, and, in this case, eliminating the need to use a microphone. There was a trombone solo to lead the bride in, and Irish bagpipes to lead our couple out. This ceremony features a handfasting, used here as a simple unity ceremony. However, instead of simply binding the two of them together with a cord, we passed the cords around so that all of the guests could take a moment, hold the cords and place whatever best wishes, blessings, or prayers that they had for the couple upon them. It truly made everyone involved feel as if they were an integral part of not only the ceremony, but also Rachael and Chris's lives. 

The Wedding of Rachael Shade & Christopher Neff

July 20th, 2013

Opening:

Family and friends, welcome to this celebration for Rachael and Chris.

With the horizon our only walls, the sky our only ceiling and the earth our floor, we meet here in nature to affirm their love. The fragrant blooms from the ground and the fiery heat from the sky attest to summer's warmth and abundance, and also the warmth and abundance of Rachael and Chris's desire for commitment. They want to welcome you to this celebration of their love for one another. Each of you has given something special to their lives. Your love and  encouragement will forever be appreciated. Thank you for sharing one of life's happiest moments with them. May you be as important a part of their tomorrow as you are of their today.

Honoring the Deceased:

Rachael and Chris would like to take a moment of silence to remember loved ones who share this day with us in spirit and memory. Let us dwell quietly for a moment on the enduring energy of their love. (silence)

Blessing of the Cord

Rachael and Chris have chosen a traditional Handfasting Ceremony.

The tradition is as old as the written language and is practiced in many cultures.

In Europe, until the mid 1700’s few unions were sanctified in a church or a synagogue.

Rather they were celebrated by a ceremony in which the couple joined hands over the village anvil, out in the fields or in a grove of trees.

The hands were then bound together with ribbon or rope.

This is where the terms ‘giving one’s hand in marriage’ and ‘tying the knot’ come from.

Today we will build on this tradition.

As this cord symbolizes the couple's joining, their bond also includes you in their lives. As family and friends, they ask that you place your blessings, energies, and positive thoughts on it. If you wish, please place your good intentions onto the cord.

Reading

What is Real?, from the Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams

Reader: Christina, Chris’s mom

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive.

But the Skin Horse only smiled.

"Someone made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

Mark’s Message

Omitted for this post

Reading

Looking for Your Face, by Rumi

Reader: John Shade, Rachael’s godfather

From the beginning of my life I have been looking for your face, but today I have seen it. Today I have seen the charm, the beauty, the unfathomable grace of the face that I was looking for. Today I have found you, and those who laughed and scorned me yesterday are sorry that they were not looking as I did. I am bewildered by the magnificence of your beauty, and wish to see you with a hundred eyes. My heart has burned with passion and has searched forever for this wondrous beauty that I now behold. I am ashamed to call this love human, and afraid of God to call it divine. Your fragrant breath, like the morning breeze, has come to the stillness of the garden. You have breathed new life into me. I have become your sunshine, and also your shadow. My soul is screaming in ecstasy. Every fiber of my being is in love with you. Your effulgence has lit a fire in my heart, and you have made radiant for me the earth and sky. My arrow of love has arrived at the target. I am in the house of mercy, and my heart is a place of prayer.

Vows:

Chris: Our love is like our garden, and we are the caretakers.

Over time, we have made it grow, made it blossom.

It has taught us the patience to know that things can’t be rushed.

It has made us more connected and showed us that, together, we can tackle anything.

Rachael, today we plant a tree in this garden. It is the tree of our life together.

It will need nourishment and love. The more we care for it, the bigger it will grow.

It will give us our food. It will shelter us under its branches.

It will provide for others in need who seek it.

Storms may batter it, but it will remain standing.

And it will still be there long after we are gone, as a monument of our devotion.

Rachael: Because of you, I laugh, I smile, I dare to dream again.

I look forward with great joy to spending the rest of my

life with you, nurturing you, being there for you in all life

has for us, and I vow to be true to you for as long

as we share our paths together.

Ring Exchange:

Your rings are circles and a circle is the symbol of the sun, the earth, the universe, of wholeness, perfection, peace and unity. Like circles, your rings have no beginning and no end and in the sacred tradition of marriage rings have come to symbolize eternal love and the endless union of

body, of mind, and spirit. These rings will be worn by Rachael and Chris to show to the world their love and commitment to one another. May the presence of these rings always remind you of the devotion you willingly share with one another from this moment on.

Let each of us in his own way, may it be prayer, may it be by a thought, whatever you and I would

wish for this couple, let's pray or have our own thoughts as a blessing upon these rings. Let us

pause at this time for these silent blessings.

(Pause)

These rings, now blessed are a symbol of love and faithfulness. They seal the vows of marriage and represent a promise of forever love.

(Chris places ring on Rachael's finger silently, kisses her hand. Rachael does the same to Chris).

Hand fasting:

As this knot is tied, so are your lives now bound.

Woven into this cord, into its very fibers, are all the hopes of your friends and family, and of yourselves,  for your new life together. With the entwining of this knot do I tie all the desires, dreams, love, and happiness wished here in this place to your lives for as long as love shall last.

In the joining of hands and the fashion of a knot, so are your lives now bound, one to

another. By this cord you are thus bound to your vow.

May this knot remain tied for as long as love shall last.

Closing:

May your days together shine brightly. May your communication continue to deepen. May your lives together be filled with love, abundance and joy. Friends and family, may I now introduce Mr.

and Mrs. Chris and Rachael Neffshade!

Kiss

Par-tay

Brie & Patrick- Favorite Ceremonies

Brie and Patrick wanted something unique and personal that reflected their love of their families, friends...and baseball. While they were at it they also were selected to be on TLC's show "Four Weddings"! So, yeah, this ceremony (and my bald spot) has been on TV. Their ceremony featured a handfasting- an ancient tradition made new where a couple's hands are bound together with cords. For their handfasting- used here as a Declaration of Intent or a prelude to their vows- Brie & Patrick stuck with their Pittsburgh Pirates theme and used a gold cord, a black cord, and a white piece of lace from Brie's mom's wedding gown. Both Brie's mom and Patrick's mom took part in the binding of their hands making for a wonderfully warm and humorous family moment. Brie and Patrick also took some standard vows and made them their own.

The Wedding of Gabrielle Berkopec & Patrick Lee

September 8th, 2013

Welcoming Words

Whoever you are, wherever you’re from, whatever you believe and whomever you love, Patrick and Gabrielle want to welcome you to this celebration of their love for one another. Each of you has given something special to their lives. Your love and encouragement will forever be appreciated. Thank you coming from distances near and far to share in one of life's happiest moments with them. May you be as important a part of their tomorrow as you are of their today.

Presentation of Brie

Who, with love and support, presents this woman to be married to this man?

Brie’s mother and step-father: “We do.”

In Memoriam

At this time, we would also like to honor those who could not be with us today. Our thoughts are especially with those who have passed and those who could not make it today. Although they are not here with us physically, we feel blessed they are with us in spirit on this beautiful day.

Community Vow

Brie-  May I call you Brie?

and Patrick- May I call you Dimples McDreamy?

Marriage is the promise of hope between two people who love each other, who honor each other as individuals, and who wish to unite their lives and share the future together. In this ceremony, they dedicate themselves to the happiness and well-being of each other, in a union of mutual caring and responsibility. Therefore, it is all the more important that those of you here with Brie and Patrick may stand as witnesses to the happiness which they have found together, and to the promises they have made to each other. As they join their lives in marriage, they also bring you together in a new relationship, creating new bonds of trust and ties of affection.

Now as important as all of you are , there is one person in particular who i must address at this point. You see, when Brie and Patrick were first dating, Patrick put so much emphasis on the fact that if Grandma Joan didn't like you, there's no way it's going to work out. So after spending an entire evening of Brie nervously cozying up to Grandma, Patrick told Brie, "Yeah, she hated you".  As Brie says “I was in the middle of hyperventilating when I looked over and saw his smirk and realized he was kidding. I was so relieved when I realized I was in the clear!”

So, Grandma Joan, is Brie in the clear?

Now that Grandma has given her okay...

Will all of you by God’s grace, do everything in your power to preserve this marriage? Will all of you, who have supported these two in friendship and love, now bestow your blessing upon them? If so please show them your support by saying, "We will”

Officiant’s Address

Standing in the hallway today, there was a young family with a little girl. The little girl was fascinated by the goings on. Her eyes lit up as the bridesmaids went by, looking beautiful in their dresses and the groomsmen looking... as groomsmen do. The mom explained to her that someone was getting married.  The  little girl thought about this for a moment, looked up at her father and asked  “daddy, why do people get married?” I didn’t hear the dad’s answer, but I did hear the slap that he got from his wife. I decided not to stick around after that.

But that is a really good question. Why do people get married? Brie and Patrick, why are you getting married?

Now as those of you who have programs can see this is a baseball-themed wedding. You might be expecting me to play upon a theme… to ramble off terrible, forced metaphors about how marriage is like baseball.

I could.

I could say something like “Brie and Patrick have finally quit warming the bench and now they step up to the plate…”

or “now you each have a teammate for life”

or how you’ve “made through the season and today you win the pennant”

or how they have loaded the bases with

Pedro Love on first,

Jose Compassion on second,

Jimmy Security on third,

and now Commitment is up to the plate. (Full name: Andrew McCommitment)

I could say that a successful marriage takes teamwork, dedication, a solid game plan, and ice cream in little helmet-shaped bowls.

but I’m not going to say any of those things.

I was never very  good at baseball. I’d steal second, feel bad about it, then go back.

Those that can’t play, coach, and those that can’t coach, umpire.

The simple fact is that you, Brie and Patrick,  are here because you love one another, you are good for each other, and you want to spend the rest of your lives together.

It’s apparent in everything you do:

Brie, Patrick loves you for your generous, giving nature, your caring heart, your genuine warmth towards himself and others and

your astounding ability to cook for a man once rated Time Magazine’s “Pickiest Eater of the Year”.

You are everything that he has ever wanted in a partner and more and he cannot imagine his life without you.

Patrick, you keep Brie centered, you make her feel safe and treat her like gold. You bring stability and constancy into her life, reminding her that every problem is temporary and that if can be fixed you will fix it together. You take care of the big things, but it’s the little things you do everyday that show Brie how much you care and make her feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

Brie and Patrick, you have shared so many happy moments together, from that moment that Patrick walked into PNC bank to cash a check and Brie conveniently forgot to give his license back, to the Pirates games, the dinners at Monte Cello’s, the hikes at McConnell’s Mills, and that moment on a December evening on windy Mt. Washington when you trekked freezing through the slush and ice (with Brie in heels...ahem) and Patrick dropped a knee deep in the snow, presented the ring and asked the question and suddenly…

suddenly,  it wasn’t cold anymore. That moment which brings us all here today.

What you mean to each other, how much you love each other and care about each other is obvious to all of here today.

Even though all of us gathered here would like to give you the gift of happiness, it is not ours to give. This marriage will be created by the two of you.

Each day, as you face your lives together, you will renew the wedding vows you make today when you act toward one another from a place of love and caring;

when you consider each other's integrity and intentions;

when you support each others dreams and goals, and when you keep yourselves well-acquainted with laughter and joy.

When there are troubles, stand by each other as you weather the storms together. 

  Don't ever try to change each other, because if you do, you will lose exactly what you fell in love with.

So, each day try to find one more thing that is beautiful in your mate and each day know that the next day will be more beautiful than the one before.

And know this:

‘When God put you two together, He truly hit a homerun.’

Handfasting

In ancient times, before the Irish were even called Irish, most marriage ceremonies were not performed in a church, instead they were held in God’s own cathedral- a grove of trees, on a riverbank, or in a verdant field.

The hands of the couple were tied together by ivy, rope or ribbon. It was meant to signify the strength of two souls united now to face the world in whatever life may bring (or perhaps to keep one of them from running away!)

This is where the terms ‘giving one’s hand in marriage’ and ‘tying the knot’ come from.

Today Brie and Patrick will build on this tradition.

Pre-emptive question

Are you willing now and always to make this commitment to each other?

Please join your right hands

Mothers (Amy and Chris) come forward with the cords

The questions

Will you stand side by side for the rest of your days together? We will.

First cord is placed and tied loosely

Will you bring fun, laughter, joy and happiness to your relationship? We will.

Second cord is placed and tied loosely

And as the years pass and your hands become aged and wrinkled, will you continue to reach out and be there for each other, to give each other that unspoken tenderness with just a touch? We will.

Third cord is placed and tied loosely

As your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust.

The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords, but rather by the actions, emotions and words you speak to each other every day.

For always you hold in your own hands the fate of this union.

Personal Vows

And now as your hands are bound together, I ask you to declare your vows to each other.

Patrick:

Brie / Patrick, I promise before God, our family and friends,

to be your loving and faithful husband/wife, to share my

life with you, in wealth and in poverty, in sickness and in

health, in good times and in bad times,

and i promise i won’t delete your girly shows to make room for sports center or Duck Dynasty

for as long as we both shall live.

Brie:

Brie / Patrick, I promise before God, our family and friends,

to be your loving and faithful husband/wife, to share my

life with you, in wealth and in poverty, in sickness and in

health, in good times and in bad times,

and I promise to not to schedule plans during the game, or hijack the remote during Duck Dynasty,

for as long as we both shall live.

Ring Vows

Rev. Mark will ask for the rings.

Your rings are circles and a circle is the symbol of the sun, the earth, the universe, of wholeness, perfection, peace and unity. Like circles, your rings have no beginning and no end and in the sacred tradition of marriage rings have come to symbolize eternal love and the endless union of body, of mind, and spirit.
These rings will be worn by Brie and Patrick to show to the world their love and commitment to one another. May the presence of these rings always remind you of the eternal love you have pledged and devotion you willingly share with one another from this moment on.
Let each of us in his own way, may it be prayer, may it be by a thought, whatever you and I would wish for this couple, let's pray or have our own thoughts as a blessing upon these rings. Let us pause at this time for these silent blessings. (Pause)

These rings, now blessed are a symbol of love and faithfulness. They seal the vows of marriage and represent a promise of forever love.

Patrick:

With this ring, I thee wed. And with this heart, I promise you
all that I am, and all that I hope to become.

Brie:

With this ring, I thee wed. And with this heart, I promise you
all that I am, and all that I hope to become.

Declaration of Marriage

It was Brie and Patrick’s hope that all of you would leave here today knowing how
much they love you; that you would have learned more about their love for each other
and that you would realize that you are not here merely to bear witness to their
marriage, but to celebrate it with them.
Marriage creates from two committed spirits one beautiful tree of life. Its roots are the
trust and devotion that underlie each action, thought and motive. Its branches are
experiences shared, hopes realized, and dreams pursued. And its blossoms are the
kisses, gentle words, and tender sighs that decorate each day and beautify the union of
two loving hearts.
Brie and Patrick, may your love grow like a beautiful tree, sending roots deep and
branches high, with new beauty every season of your life together.
May you find constant reward and challenge as you pursue the ongoing adventure of
learning who you are and where you want to go.
May you always have a special sense of your mission in life together, and may you never
tire of the endless possibilities of exploring your shared existence.
And long, long years from now, may you look at one another and be able to say, “With
you, I have lived the life I always wanted to live – with you, I have become the person I
always longed to be.”

Untie cords

And now it is my great pleasure to pronounce that Patrick and Brie are husband and
wife.

Patrick, you may kiss your Brie!

Family and friends, please join me in celebration as we greet for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Patrick and Gabrielle Lee!