Stacie & Randy- Favorite Ceremonies

Such fun! These two brought a lot of excitement to the ceremony (and afterwards as Randy slung Stacie over his shoulder and sprinted down the aisle- really!).

This has one of my favorite handfasting adaptations-  promises personally written by the couple incorporated with the tying of the hands. 

The Wedding of  Stacie Kobylanski & Randy Long

August 24th, 2013

Welcoming Words

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

-Albert Einstein

Stacie and Randy want to thank you for sharing with them on this special and joyous day. Those of you who have had the pleasure of spending some time with them, have seen for yourselves that they possess a very rare and exceptional love. We are here today to celebrate their love and participate in this most wonderful occasion.  

Presentation of Stacie

Who, with love and support, presents this woman to be married to this man?

Opening Prayer

Eternal God, source of infinite love, bless us with a sense of your indwelling presence as we worship here. Keep us sensitive to the wonder of things which fill our days and give meaning to life. Deepen in us the level of our loving, both for those near and dear to us, and for those who, though strangers, need our concern. Especially do we pray your divine blessing on these two who come here in this high moment of their lives. Hear them as they take their promises to each other, that they shall pledge their vows with deepest sincerity knowing full well the meaning of the words they say. And do grant to us all, we pray, a heightened sense of the joy of life because we share this moment with them. In your loving spirit. Amen.

Officiant’s Address

Omitted here.

Declaration of Intent

Stacie and Randy, today I ask you to make a promise:
That whatever happens, you shall never walk alone;
That your hearts will be shelter to each other and your arms will be your
home;
That you’ll stand side by side and sleep in each other’s arms:
That Randy, you’ll watch over Stacie and keep her from harm;
That Stacie, you’ll be the joy in Randy’s heart and the food for his soul;
May you feel deeply loved  for indeed you are; through your brightest days and your darkest nights.

And so I ask, will you now take each other into your hearts and pledge your love in this moment and forever?

Personal Vows and Handfasting

In Europe, until the mid 1700’s, few unions were sanctified in a church or a synagogue.

Rather they were celebrated by a ceremony in which the couple joined hands over the village anvil, out in the fields or in a grove of trees.

The hands were then bound together with ribbon or rope.

This is where the terms ‘giving one’s hand in marriage’ and ‘tying the knot’ come from and not at all where the phrases “noose” or “bound in chains for all eternity” come from.

Today Stacie and Randy will build on this ancient tradition. They have each written vows that they would like to share with the other.

We begin with the traditional words of the ancient poet, Peter of Cook, who once said:

Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove...

The Handfasting

Stacie, do you promise Randy that you will laugh with him and at yourselves in times of joy, and comfort him and cry with him in times of sorrow?  

Randy, do you promise Stacie to keep your life full of wonder and adventure even if its just sitting on the couch and watching a new movie or climbing the highest mountain that you can't find just to say “I love you”?

Tie

Randy do you  promise to always strive to make all of your dreams come true and lend Stacie strength in her pursuit to do the same?

Stacie, do you promise to forever be Randy’s best friend and love him unconditionally?

Tie

Randy, do you promise to cherish Stacie and her opinion even when you do not agree with it?

Stacie, do you promise that you will try really hard to remember to put the toilet seat lid down and to wash out your cereal bowl...and that any children you have will be raised to prefer pop over soda?

Tie

Stacie, do you promise to always walk beside Randy through your future together; never before him nor behind?

Randy do you promise to always stand by Stacie’s  side for all of eternity and always keep her close... until the zombie apocalypse, at which point all bets are off?

Tie

As your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust.

The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords, but rather by the vows you have made.

For always you hold in your own hands the fate of this union, and perhaps you can teach the zombies to put down the toilet seat lid.

Tie

May these hands be blessed that we see before us this day.

May they always be held by one another.

May they have the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment.

 May they remain tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love.

May these hands continue building a relationship founded in love, rich in caring, and devoted in reaching for perfection.

May Stacie and Randy see each other’s hands as healer, protector, shelter and guide.

Cords are removed

Rings

May I have the rings please?

From the earliest times, the circle has been a symbol of completeness, a symbol of committed love. An unbroken and never ending circle symbolizes a commitment of love that is also never ending. As often as either of you looks at this symbol, I hope that you will be reminded of the commitment to love each other, which you have made today.

Randy/Stacie, take this ring and place it on Stacie’s/Randy’s, finger and repeat after me.

 

Will each of you repeat after me:

Randy: I, Randy / Stacie, give to you Stacie / Randy, this ring, as a symbol of my commitment to love, honor, and respect you.

Stacie: I, Stacie / Randy, give to you Randy / Stacie, this ring, as a symbol of my commitment to love, honor, and respect you.

Let these rings serve not as locks binding you together, but as keys, unlocking the secrets of your hearts for each other to know, and thus bringing you closer together forever.

Final Blessing or Conclusion

Stacie and Randy,  if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, may it be the love that brought you here today, not only the love of each other, but also the love of your families and friends.

It is only love which can make your marriage a glorious union, and by love which your marriage shall endure.

Today your separate lives with your individual memories, desires, and hopes have merged into one. You are now taking into your care and keeping the happiness of the one person in the entire world whom you love above all others. You are adding to your life not only the affection of each other, but also the companionship and blessing of a deep trust as well. You are agreeing to share strength, your weaknesses, triumphs, trials and  responsibilities.

May you be a blessing and comfort to each other, sharers of each other’s dreams, consolers of each other’s sorrows, helpers to each other in all of life's challenges. May you encourage each other in whatever you set out to achieve. May you trust each other, trust life and be unafraid. May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you patience, tolerance, and understanding. And many, many years from now may you be able to look at each other and say “ With you I have lived the life I have always wanted to live. With you I have become the person I have always longed to be.”

Declaration of Marriage

Stacie and Randy, remember the promises you have made to each other today, carry them close in your heart, but most all live them, each and every day.  I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.

Friends and family, may I now introduce Mr. and Mrs. Randy and Stacie Long!

Rachael & Chris- Favorite Ceremonies

Oh, this was a fun one and wonderfully sentimental and quirky!Rachael and Chris both were raised Christian, but found that their beliefs changed as they became adults. Rachael became Wiccan and Chris leaned in that direction as well, though he would probably decribe himself as humanist. Their parents, though loving and supportive, were not completely on board with their respective children's spiritual outlook. It happens. And so, they wanted a unique ceremony that captured their beliefs without distancing their families. It was also July, hot, and outdoors so we wanted something simple and on the shorter side. And so the scene was set. The ceremony was in-the-round, one of my favorite ceremony settings. The chairs are placed in a circle surrounding the couple, bringing more intimacy, more warmth and interaction, and, in this case, eliminating the need to use a microphone. There was a trombone solo to lead the bride in, and Irish bagpipes to lead our couple out. This ceremony features a handfasting, used here as a simple unity ceremony. However, instead of simply binding the two of them together with a cord, we passed the cords around so that all of the guests could take a moment, hold the cords and place whatever best wishes, blessings, or prayers that they had for the couple upon them. It truly made everyone involved feel as if they were an integral part of not only the ceremony, but also Rachael and Chris's lives. 

The Wedding of Rachael Shade & Christopher Neff

July 20th, 2013

Opening:

Family and friends, welcome to this celebration for Rachael and Chris.

With the horizon our only walls, the sky our only ceiling and the earth our floor, we meet here in nature to affirm their love. The fragrant blooms from the ground and the fiery heat from the sky attest to summer's warmth and abundance, and also the warmth and abundance of Rachael and Chris's desire for commitment. They want to welcome you to this celebration of their love for one another. Each of you has given something special to their lives. Your love and  encouragement will forever be appreciated. Thank you for sharing one of life's happiest moments with them. May you be as important a part of their tomorrow as you are of their today.

Honoring the Deceased:

Rachael and Chris would like to take a moment of silence to remember loved ones who share this day with us in spirit and memory. Let us dwell quietly for a moment on the enduring energy of their love. (silence)

Blessing of the Cord

Rachael and Chris have chosen a traditional Handfasting Ceremony.

The tradition is as old as the written language and is practiced in many cultures.

In Europe, until the mid 1700’s few unions were sanctified in a church or a synagogue.

Rather they were celebrated by a ceremony in which the couple joined hands over the village anvil, out in the fields or in a grove of trees.

The hands were then bound together with ribbon or rope.

This is where the terms ‘giving one’s hand in marriage’ and ‘tying the knot’ come from.

Today we will build on this tradition.

As this cord symbolizes the couple's joining, their bond also includes you in their lives. As family and friends, they ask that you place your blessings, energies, and positive thoughts on it. If you wish, please place your good intentions onto the cord.

Reading

What is Real?, from the Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams

Reader: Christina, Chris’s mom

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive.

But the Skin Horse only smiled.

"Someone made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

Mark’s Message

Omitted for this post

Reading

Looking for Your Face, by Rumi

Reader: John Shade, Rachael’s godfather

From the beginning of my life I have been looking for your face, but today I have seen it. Today I have seen the charm, the beauty, the unfathomable grace of the face that I was looking for. Today I have found you, and those who laughed and scorned me yesterday are sorry that they were not looking as I did. I am bewildered by the magnificence of your beauty, and wish to see you with a hundred eyes. My heart has burned with passion and has searched forever for this wondrous beauty that I now behold. I am ashamed to call this love human, and afraid of God to call it divine. Your fragrant breath, like the morning breeze, has come to the stillness of the garden. You have breathed new life into me. I have become your sunshine, and also your shadow. My soul is screaming in ecstasy. Every fiber of my being is in love with you. Your effulgence has lit a fire in my heart, and you have made radiant for me the earth and sky. My arrow of love has arrived at the target. I am in the house of mercy, and my heart is a place of prayer.

Vows:

Chris: Our love is like our garden, and we are the caretakers.

Over time, we have made it grow, made it blossom.

It has taught us the patience to know that things can’t be rushed.

It has made us more connected and showed us that, together, we can tackle anything.

Rachael, today we plant a tree in this garden. It is the tree of our life together.

It will need nourishment and love. The more we care for it, the bigger it will grow.

It will give us our food. It will shelter us under its branches.

It will provide for others in need who seek it.

Storms may batter it, but it will remain standing.

And it will still be there long after we are gone, as a monument of our devotion.

Rachael: Because of you, I laugh, I smile, I dare to dream again.

I look forward with great joy to spending the rest of my

life with you, nurturing you, being there for you in all life

has for us, and I vow to be true to you for as long

as we share our paths together.

Ring Exchange:

Your rings are circles and a circle is the symbol of the sun, the earth, the universe, of wholeness, perfection, peace and unity. Like circles, your rings have no beginning and no end and in the sacred tradition of marriage rings have come to symbolize eternal love and the endless union of

body, of mind, and spirit. These rings will be worn by Rachael and Chris to show to the world their love and commitment to one another. May the presence of these rings always remind you of the devotion you willingly share with one another from this moment on.

Let each of us in his own way, may it be prayer, may it be by a thought, whatever you and I would

wish for this couple, let's pray or have our own thoughts as a blessing upon these rings. Let us

pause at this time for these silent blessings.

(Pause)

These rings, now blessed are a symbol of love and faithfulness. They seal the vows of marriage and represent a promise of forever love.

(Chris places ring on Rachael's finger silently, kisses her hand. Rachael does the same to Chris).

Hand fasting:

As this knot is tied, so are your lives now bound.

Woven into this cord, into its very fibers, are all the hopes of your friends and family, and of yourselves,  for your new life together. With the entwining of this knot do I tie all the desires, dreams, love, and happiness wished here in this place to your lives for as long as love shall last.

In the joining of hands and the fashion of a knot, so are your lives now bound, one to

another. By this cord you are thus bound to your vow.

May this knot remain tied for as long as love shall last.

Closing:

May your days together shine brightly. May your communication continue to deepen. May your lives together be filled with love, abundance and joy. Friends and family, may I now introduce Mr.

and Mrs. Chris and Rachael Neffshade!

Kiss

Par-tay

Katie & Kory- Favorite Ceremonies

Can you get that "full ceremony" feel in a shorter ceremony? Absolutely! 

Katie & Kory were thoroughly invloved in preparing the materials for their wedding ceremony. We collaborated in getting the wording right so that their personal message of gratitude for their friends, family and an appreciation of all of life's moments big and small came through loud and clear.  

They had two readings, each by an aunt (close aunts are always great for readings), and a mid-ceremony song sung by Katie's sister.
Their ceremony also featured one of my favorite things- a presentation of the couple to each other by both sets of parents. 

Oh, and check out their vows! This was a long-form style that they wrote together and read in turn. 

All-in-all a lovely, yet shorter, ceremony packed full with meaning and emotion. 

The Wedding of Katherine Jaus & Kory David

July 13th 2013

Opening Remarks (everyone remains standing)

Friends, we have been invited here today to share with Katie and Kory a very important moment in their lives. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife. This beautiful couple didn't get here all by themselves. They have been loved and cared for by you, their families, depending on you for sustenance, knowledge, guidance, and love. Without you, this day would not be possible.

Presentation of the Couple

Robert and Ellen, do you support your child's decision to join together in holy matrimony with Kory, and do you vow to receive him as a member of your family from this day on?

Rob and Ellen Jaus: We do

Chuck and Jenny, do you support your child's decision to join together in holy matrimony with Katie, and do you vow to receive her as a member of your family from this day on?

Chuck and Jenny David: We do

May the blessing of their marriage extend throughout your families forever.

Opening Prayer:

The following is a prayer that was written by Katie’s Grandfather, the late Dr. Fredrick B. Wilkes which he wrote for his engaged couples and shared with them during their Pre Cana sessions:

You are on the threshold of your life together. You are, or should be, filled with enthusiasm. The world must seem a glorious and wonderful place to you. If there is ever a time when you have aspirations, dreams, ideals, that time is now. You are entering that happiest of all periods in the human condition, when you take to yourself this other person…to merge with, to become one with...no longer alone, but from now on, united together by this sacrament of matrimony.

(Everyone sits down)

Community Statement:

Rev Mark: Katie and Kory would like to thank each of you for being with them today. They know that making the journey took considerable effort for a good many of you and for this they are deeply grateful. Although many of you don’t live right around the corner, you are never far from their hearts. You’ve shared in their best and their worst days, and you are an irreplaceable part of their yesterdays, their today and all of their tomorrows.

On this happy and joyous day, Katie and Kory would also like to remember those who are not here with us. Their losses are deeply felt and their spirits are missed.

The Lords Prayer

Our Father...

First Reading:

"Wedding Prayer" by Robert Louis Stevenson

I would like to invite Katie’s Aunt and Godmother, Beth Wilkes to come up and read

Lord, behold our family here assembled.
We thank you for this place in which we dwell,
for the love that unites us,
for the peace accorded us this day,
for the hope with which we expect the morrow,
for the health, the work, the food,
and the bright skies that make our lives delightful;
for our friends in all parts of the earth.
Amen

Song:

To Make You Feel My Love (Adele)

Sung by Sarah Jaus- Sister of the Bride

Address

A great, but short, speech by Rev. Mark went here. Omitted here because of personal details.

Second Reading:

I would like to invite Kory’s Aunt and Godmother, Martha Mitchell and his cousin, Shelby to come up and read an

Apache Wedding Blessing:

May the sun bring you new happiness by day;

May the moon softly restore you by night;
May the rain wash away your worries
And the breeze blow new strength into your being,
And all the days of your life
May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty.

"Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years. May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth."

"Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives -- remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight."

Declaration of Intent to Marry

The covenant of marriage is one that can be entered into only by persons who are both legally and spiritually free to offer themselves to each other. Therefore, in the presence of God and in the presence of all of the witnesses here, I will ask Katie and Kory to state their intention. Katie and Kory, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in the holy state of matrimony?

“We have.”

Before we move into the vows, I’d like to remind us all that this is a rare opportunity, perhaps the only opportunity in our lives, that each of us – family and friends – will be here together as one. Take a minute and look around. Savor this time. Like all of life’s important moments, this one will soon be a memory.

Vows (read)

Katie: I believe in you Kory, the person you will grow to be and the couple we will be together. With my whole heart, I take you as my husband, acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths, as you do mine.  I promise to be faithful and supportive and to always make our family’s love and happiness my priority. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph.
I will dream with you, celebrate with you and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring.
You are my person -- my love and my life, today and always

Kory: I believe in you Katie, the person you will grow to be and the couple we will be together. With my whole heart, I take you as my wife, acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths, as you do mine.  I promise to be faithful and supportive and to always make our family’s love and happiness my priority. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph.
I will dream with you, celebrate with you and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring.
You are my person -- my love and my life, today and always

Exchange of Wedding Rings

Do we have the rings?

Cory was contractually obligated by the Eagles to pay .000000000001% per week into the “Engagement Ring for Katie Fund

(Best Man Jody David will have the rings)

Bless, O Lord, this ring to be a sign of the vows by which this man and this woman have bound themselves to each other; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Katie and Kory, let these rings serve as a reminder of the feelings you have in your hearts at this very moment. There are times in life that we tend to focus on the things we have not yet accomplished, there will also be times of great loss. Yet as you look at your wedding band, remember the great gift that you have been given and all that you have in one another. Remember that you have someone to share this life with. Never again will you walk alone.

Kory, please turn to Katie and repeat after me:

(This ring is a reminder to you and the world)

(that on this day we vowed before God and these witnesses)

(our lifelong commitment to each other).

(Whenever you see it it will remind you)

(that I am now and will always be in love with you)

Katie, please turn to Kory and repeat after me:

(This ring is a reminder to you and the world)

(that on this day we vowed before God and these witnesses)

(our lifelong commitment to each other).

(Whenever you see it, it will remind you)

(that I am now and will always be in love with you)

Conclusion

Before I pronounce you married partners, I have just one more thing I want you to do. Your wedding day is one that seems to fly. It’s a day filled with emotion, friends, rings and dances. Many people remember how fleeting their own wedding day was. So I want you to take a few seconds to look into each others eyes. Think about the happiness that you’re feeling in this place, in this moment. Really let that feeling register in your heart and your mind. Now I want you to think about your life together in twenty years. Where are you? What are you doing? We all know that your visions of the future are not identical, but always complimentary. John Lennon once said, “A dream you dream alone is only a dream; a dream you dream together, THAT is reality”. That new reality starts now!

Announcement and Kiss

Katie and Kory, we have heard your promise to share your lives in marriage. We recognize and respect the vows you have made here this day before each one of us as a witness. In the honesty and sincerity of what you have said and done here today, it is my honor and delight to declare you henceforth to be husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.

Introduced as a couple for the first time

Family and friends, please rise to your feet and join me in celebration as we greet for the very first time as husband and wife, Mr. & Mrs. Kory and Katherine David!